From grief-stricken to a good time – Five tips to rise

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In life, everyone suffers some kind of downfall from time to time whether it be the passing of a friend or disappoint arising from a setback in their career. However, what defines a person is never their losses, but how they recover and learn about themselves in the process. Obviously, this is easier said and done, requiring effort and commitment to come to terms with grief and rise above it to face the brighter future, but the five steps outlined below simplify the process and provides a starting place for people who feel lost in the world.

Firstly, understand it is natural to be upset, and know that everyone, at some point in time, will go through a similar experience. However, after a few days, strive to get your life back on track by reintegrating one routine every day to gain back some control and sense of normality. For example, going grocery shopping, browsing your favorite store, and meeting up with a friend for coffee are all viable options designed to dull the impact of grief. Be open, and accept help from others. It is difficult enough to deal with pain even without having to shoulder the burden alone.

To cope during the earlier days, distractions are necessary to prevent sinking into a deep, dark hole of despair and depression. Exercising, watching television in moderation, and working on a hobby are all viable options for quelling the overwhelming desire to mope. This is not to say reminiscing about the past should be avoided at all costs, but it should be limited to only short periods of time in safety and comfort. However, if the pain does bubble to the surface unexpectedly, acknowledge it and move on without making a big fuss.

As many may already know, talking about loss is an important step on the road to recovery. It is still unacceptable to rant to your barista or post a five mile long status on Facebook, but having a chat with a few close friends can provide some relief. Closing in and detaching from the people who care is one of the most harmful actions you can take. Refusing to share with anyone is a sign of denial, which can slow down the recovery process and present barriers to future social interactions.

Although this may sound counterintuitive, do not only think of the good times. Remembering a friend’s laughter and companionship or how a supervisor once bought gourmet coffee for everyone at the office is normal and pleasant, but does nothing in the long run. To effectively deal with grief, your viewpoint needs to be at least somewhat impartial, taking into account the bad as well. Some negativity regarding your past can alleviate some of the feelings of losing something holy, allowing you to turn the rose-colored glasses towards the future instead.

Finally, believe in that you will overcome this hurdle, and find footing again in the very near future. Appreciate whatever glimpses of happiness that arise, without guilt or allowing judgment to register. It is genuinely all about perspective, with optimism always winning in the race towards recovery and living to the fullest once again. With the right attitude and an honest acknowledgment of pain with a reflective and open mind, the world will grow brighter in no time.

Though this process can be complex and difficult, the first step is always finding the courage and will to follow through with it in order to truly live once again. Grief is definitely unpleasant, but it is also a fact of life and denial of it will only aggravate the situation. Instead, take it in stride, learn from the experience, and rise up to reach the sky of happiness once again.

Dealing with Sadness – Ideas and Advice

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Dealing with Sadness - Ideas and Advice

We live in a crazily driven modern world. Our modern world and the pace of living in it often brings us all manner of complications, as well as a lot of fatigue and disappointment. For example, loss of a friend or family member may set us back in life. Even a friend or close family member who is in the hospital due to health problems may give you a sense of sadness that is very hard to shake off.

To cite other examples, if your new car breaks down or there are problems with your new home, you may find that sadness crops up and is difficult to deal with. In addition, a split with a partner or spouse may trigger sadness which seems to come straight from the core of your heart. If you are missing a friend back home or you live in a different country and you cry for your family and friends (whom you needed to left behind), your sadness may overwhelm you. Ego also factors in here. For example, you may imagine that your close friends do not admire you or that your boss is neglecting the efforts which you put in at work. Debt is another problem which brings sadness. Let’s say that you have have a big credit card bill in your hand and you do not have funds to pay the bill. This causes stress which may weigh you down with negative emotions!

There are a million reasons why people feel sad. In my personal life, I have faced sadness (even extreme) many times and I’ve successfully recovered from it. In order to help you do the same, I’ve written up some tips, which are meant to help you combat the ill effects of despair.

1. Short-Term Sadness is Okay: Every human being reacts to changing situations around him/her. It’s natural and normal to have these emotions. This kind of sadness is situational.  In other words, it’s related to our hardest life experiences. After all, a human being is not a machine. However, you do need to learn how to recover from it! Your recovery should be speedy in order to benefit your mental state, health and well-being.

If you are sad for days or months at a time, then you definitely need help or some outlet which will assist you with feeling normal again. Many things can work, such as talking to a good friend, reading a good book or finding a good video which helps you to understand the situation. If you’re seriously depressed, talk to your doctor – he or she can help.

2. Take Loss Positively: Losing a friend, co-worker, money, business, or anything else that you value may spark prolonged sadness and psychological setbacks. Keep in mind that nothing was yours which you lost! Think positively by reminding yourself that you enjoyed good moments with your friend or family member, or had some good experiences with your money or business.

If you gain perspective by reviewing your own personal history, you will realize that nothing is permanent. The best and brightest people of all time gained and lost during their lives, just like you have! Maybe you lost things that you used to own? This presents an opportunity to live a more humble life, without being enslaved by the need for luxuries and material possessions.

3. Feel Good About Your Mistakes: No one is perfect! We all make mistakes and, sometimes, we repeat these errors! Accept mistakes not as signs of weakness but as signs of courage. At least you tried! Consider the fact that all people in the world make mistakes and that you are no different from them! Laugh at your mistakes in order to change the way that you feel about them! Don’t be sad that you did something wrong.

Also, think about the fact that you may suffer from misconceptions. Maybe your family and friends are not thinking bad thoughts about you after all – maybe it’s just your imagination! People around you are very busy, they do not have time to think about your mistakes and weaknesses all of the time. So make an effort to avoid cluttering your mind with the idea that people are thinking terrible things about you.

4. Sad Poetry and Music are Ok in Moderation: Sad poetry, music, or literature may be used for short periods of time in order to fit your mood. Sometimes, I do listen to sad songs and feel good after listening to them, it may be the same for you. However, too much sad “entertainment” may actually trigger a downward spiral into depression. As I said earlier, it’s healthy to be sad for short periods of time, it’s okay to be sombre now and then.

However, healthy sadness is all about recovering from sadness quickly and returning to a happier state of mind!

5. Avoid Too Much Solitude: When you spend long periods of time alone, you may be prone to indulge in self-analysis and bad thoughts which keep your feelings of sadness alive. Many times, obsessive self-examination disconnects us from the realities of life which are all around us. For example, you may try to explore and connect with metaphorical images and figures when you are alone for long period of times! It’s better to live in the real world as much as you can, so do make sure that you go outside, get some fresh air, talk to neighbours or friends or take care of pets. This will help you to come out of your imaginative world which was created in response to your prolonged period of solitude.

There are many other strategies for dealing with sadness. However, I believe that the ones detailed here are great for self-help during tough times. Keep in mind that sadness and depression are closely related to each other. As I mentioned earlier, if you are always sad or frequently sad, please talk to your doctor. He or she can treat your depression and get you back on the right track.